Be Kind, Rewind
BLOG ON TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN DUE TO
STPM.
Who knew putting the "T" in SPM could make it about a million billion zillion gugillion fulfillion times harder?
See you all on December 9th.
Natalie
9:58 PM
Whoopsies, I Made A Poopsies!
Okay, I so did not make a poopsies.
My car got scratched today in Subang Parade!
By that I mean that I was trying to park at a very strange angle, and the other car was stationary, and I bumped into it!
Seriously, the other car leaped forward about a foot on impact.
So I did what any other good honest God-fearing Malaysian would do.
I drove away and parked somewhere else.
Sorry, grey Myvi owner!
Natalie
8:56 PM
Tension So Thick You Could Cut It With A Chainsaw
Okay. First things first. Let me send a big big
BIG THANK YOU
to Nishyodhan who invited yours truly to his Happy Happy Deepavali open house...his mom makes killer mutton curry. I hope nobody noticed my eyes watering.
On to other matters.
I am soooo full of tension and stress and pressure right now I think my head is going to cave in. Really. I can feel my brains drying and shriveling up into tiny dried-pea like nubs and rolling out my ears. Or nasal cavity. Ew.
You know what? My mom is not helping either. During the Deepavali holidays, Dad suggested going to Fraser's Hill for a one-day trip. I said I didn't want to go because I wanted to study, and I'm actually trying to avoid all high altitude places before STPM, because those places make me have cramps, nausea and then my nose leaks like a broken geyser. How to study like that?
So we didn't go, and the next day my mom got all mad at me and didn't talk to me at all. Now, I don't think that's very fair, do you?
ARGH.
I feel ready to blow at any minute. I'm like the KFC pressure cooker.
Really. Today I debated burning some charcoal in my room and inhaling the fumes. I also thought about buying Panadol and Coke. Or a knife. Or some cattle rope. Or some life-ending product like that.
All I did was breathe in toilet cleaning fumes while I washed the loo, and I felt pretty sick after.
Natalie
5:01 PM
WhatThePork?
Did you know that the National University of Singapore requires at least all B's for STPM to allow "competitive application"????
WHATTHEDAFFYDUCK!
Natalie
3:40 PM
Call the SPCA!
The other day I was in my room when I noticed the crows outside making a lot of noise. They don't usually do that, so I looked out to see what the hullabaloo was all about.
My room faces a row of shops two streets over; a corner-lot restaurant and a mini market can be seen from my room. I saw this whole bunch of crows circling madly, in no formation whatsoever, and all the while they were yelling like you'd never heard before.
So I look at the road, and what do I see? Some pudgy boy, about maybe 8 or 9, poking at a crow on the ground. I wondered why the crow didn't just get up and fly away, but then I saw that the crow's leg was tangled in a piece of raffia string, and the string in turn was connected to a large white piece of heavy plastic.
This small fat brat was poking at the crow, then he picked it up and cried "Terbang! Terbang!" before throwing it upwards. The crow, thus encumbered, only managed to fly about 4 feet off the ground before alighting on the lowest branch of a nearby tree, plastic sheet dangling.
Fat Boy went to the tree, giggling gleefully, yanked the bird out of the tree. Then he held it by the string so it was dangling upside down and I felt like throttling him with my bare hands. An middle-aged woman came out of the corner shop. I don't know if she was his mother, or caretaker, but she didn't even say anything to Fat Brat. She just looked at the crow dangling from his chubby hand, and gave an "Oh, that's nice, dear" sort of look.
All the while the crows were screaming for their fellow to get up and fly away. I couldn't take any more, so I didn't watch.
Later on I noticed the crows were all quiet, so I took another look. Fat Brat was indoors, standing in the mini market, and I thought he'd let the crow go. But no! He was still poking at it and playing with it. Then he brought it outside, and almost immediately all the crows flew up and started an unholy racket again.
Ignorant Fat Kid had cut the piece of plastic away, and he'd set the crow down on the road, but it would not fly away, no matter how much I willed it to. I guess it was in shock, or injured, because it just sat there, one wing open on the ground and its head down. Its pals in the sky yelled encouragement, I guess, but Fatty picked it up again by the string, and swung it gently from side to side.
I hope that Fat Boy grows up to be a disillusioned, ignorant, juvenile degenerate, who falls down an abandoned mine shaft when he's 18, only to be attacked by a lion and left to die a slow death.
Seriously. He should be shot.
While we are still on the topic of animal cruelty, I should like to mention that I absolutely hate it when there's a tiger, or shark, or crocodile attack on a human, and then all the villagers go out and shoot and kill ALL the crocodiles in the vicinity, just because they want to get revenge. I think only stupid, ignorant, uneducated barbarians go after animals that way to punish it for obeying its own nature.
Every time you kill a chicken for meat, do you see an entire barnyard running after humans, armed to the teeth, baying for blood?
Anyway.
On a lighter note, allow me to talk about my preparations for the upcoming STPM of Doom.
It's going okay, I guess. But could be better.
I am really going to need a haircut after the exam because I am totally ignoring a lot of things in my quest for a state of exam-readiness.
Also, people who go into my room nowadays are not encouraged to touch anything because if you do, a small but thick and distinct cloud of dust erupts.
Natalie
4:56 PM
It Rhymes With Hat
I am very very worried.
1. I have bye-bye fats.
2. I knocked my thighs together and they wobbled on their own for 3 Mississippis.
3. I have a sack of jelly strapped to my stomach, right where abs used to be.
4. I don't think I'm ready for this jelly.
Natalie
6:02 PM
Okay
So I have finally increased my GPA from 2.5 to 3.1. Phew!
Natalie
4:16 PM
